I’d venture to say that most moms struggle with mom guilt every now and then, if not multiple times a week. Mom guilt can be crippling and it can make you doubt yourself sooooo much. (You probably don’t need me to tell you this, though!)
Literally, the last thing you need as a mom is to feel guilty about your parenting or your work schedule or any of that. You’re busy enough as it is!
Dealing with mom guilt: 4 things to think about
Let’s explore a few ways to deal with mom guilt so that you can focus on your family and your work instead of your inner voice telling you you’re not good enough (because that bitch is lying to you.)
1.) Intentionally set aside pockets of time to spend with your kids.
Most of the time, mom guilt surfaces for no real reason and you’re not doing anything wrong. Sometimes, though, especially if you tend to go hard in terms of work, it can be easy to get so sucked into your work that you end up not giving your kids enough attention during the day.
And that can eat away at you! If you sometimes struggle with hanging out with your kids enough in favor of working, examine your daily schedule and pencil in some time to spend just for them. During workdays, I try to set aside 3, 30-minute blocks where we play together or do something fun, like cooking, coloring, or a craft if I’ve really got it together that day.
Then, after I close my laptop for the day, I’m as present as possible and I don’t let myself scroll on my phone or get involved with work until they’re in bed.
I tend to be a workaholic, but I obviously love my kids and want to spend time with them. I get most overwhelmed by mom guilt when I feel like I’m not being present enough, so this was the tip that did the most for me.
Spicy mom tip: If you have toddlers or younger kids and they interrupt you all the time, you may not need to set aside specific times, because they’re always forcing you to take breaks. My advice here (because I have three toddlers) is to use those interruptions as breaks and spend time with your little ones, even if it’s a quick 5-minute dance party and snack refill.
2.) Schedule your time and stick to that schedule when possible
Another thing that sparks mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not being productive enough. This is probably the second biggest way for me to get rid of mom guilt because I know that I’m getting shit done.
Schedule everything that you can. Scheduling will look different for every family depending on what goes on during the day, whether or not your kids go to school, whether or not you have childcare, etc.
If you write down exactly what you need to get done and when, you’re going to feel so much more focused and productive.
Example scheduling techniques to explore:
- Batch working
- Time blocking
- Most important task method (Writing down 1-3 important things to get done each day)
Time blocking doesn’t work out well for me, as a mom with no childcare and three toddlers who don’t go to school yet. So I do the most important task method and commit to 2 major work tasks per day. I also wake up early AF twice a week to catch up on emails and work on new digital products for my online template shop.
The key here is not to overschedule yourself! That’ll only lead to MORE mom guilt, which you do not need, girl. Be very liberal with estimating how long tasks will take you and don’t feel like you need to do the same amount of work in a day as someone with no kids. It’s not realistic and there’s nothing wrong with that – or you! ?
3.) Don’t dwell on everything and shut down that negative inner voice
I know it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough for your kids, but most moms are good moms and I am sure that if you’re reading this, you care immensely about your children. So tell that inner voice (she’s so rude, right?) to shut the hell up.
You’re doing the best you can. And so am I. And so is every other working momma out there. No mom is perfect, so avoid dwelling on the little things that don’t matter in the long-term.
Giving yourself hell because you didn’t have time to fully fix your kid’s hair before dropping them off for school? Letting guilt eat you alive because your house doesn’t look picture-perfect inside at all times? Let it go. No one can do it all and that’s TOTALLY normal.
If you can accept that every day won’t be perfect, you’ll be able to go with the flow more often and release yourself from some of that mom guilt.
4.) Switch things up for a day every now and then
If you feel stuck in a rut and bored with your day-to-day, your kids might feel that way, too. And chances are, THAT bothers you more than the fact that you feel personally bored.
So, if you can take a day or two off per month to switch things up, do it! This will help you and your kids loosen up a little, unplug, and connect. And it’ll definitely help you defeat mom guilt if you struggle with your daily routine looking a little bland.
Here’s some ideas for ya:
- Visit a local petting zoo
- Go to the library or park. Or both!
- Take a virtual field trip or two, take a virtual roller coaster ride, and cook a fun meal together
- Have a craft day
- Make some homemade play-dough or slime
- Check out a local nature trail together
Dealing with mom guilt is not fun, but you’ve got this
Just take time to sit with your feelings and figure out where some of that guilt is coming from. Most of us work at home moms get too wrapped up in our work and feel bad about it or we don’t feel like we’re connecting with our kids enough.
It’s normal, so don’t beat yourself up about it! Take some time to make a plan for how you plan to approach that problem. Try a few of these ideas for defeating mom guilt and figure out what works best for you. And remember, no mom is perfect no matter what you see on Instagram or Pinterest. You’re doing great!
Do you have any tips for dealing with mom guilt? Spill your secrets in the comments because I know there are thousands of moms out there who could use your advice, too. 🙂
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Hey, what’s up? I’m Lucia, a work from home mom of three and a freelance writer. I’m here to spill the tea and tips on starting and growing an online business as a mom. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, but it’s possible and I’m rooting for you!